Dating is something we all do, but we don’t always stop to think about why we’re doing it beyond getting to know someone or maybe finding a life partner. I believe dating serves a much bigger purpose than that.
What is the Purpose of Dating?
1. Knowing yourself and others.
Dating is a fantastic way to learn more about yourself, others, and how relationships work. It gives you the chance to figure out what you want in a long-term partner and what personality traits matter most to you. Plus, dating helps you discover what you like, what you don’t, and what you're willing to put up with—and what you’re not.
There’s no such thing as a perfect person – they just don’t exist. But since research by Dr. John Gottman shows that 69% of relationship issues are ongoing, it’s important to find someone whose quirks and habits you can actually live with. Dating is the perfect time to figure that out.
2. Building relationship skills.
Dating is a great way to practice and build the key relationship skills that make for healthy, long-lasting connections. These skills include things like communication, handling conflict, being flexible, problem-solving, self-awareness, compromising, managing emotions, and respecting boundaries. It’s also a chance to grow your character by developing patience, empathy, honesty, and self-control.
3. Practicing boundaries.
Think of personal boundaries like a fence around your property. They mark where your space ends and someone else’s begins, showing what’s your responsibility and what’s theirs. Boundaries help you define who you are, what you’re okay with, and what you’re not. They let others know what’s acceptable to you and what’s not. A person with healthy boundaries knows they’re in charge of their own choices, beliefs, actions, thoughts, and emotions.
Being clear and honest about your boundaries when dating makes everything easier. It helps the other person get to know the real you, and let’s face it, you can’t build a real relationship if you’re not being yourself. It’s also key to date someone who respects your boundaries. If they don’t acknowledge or respect them, it could be a sign of deeper character issues. You can’t have a healthy, lasting relationship with someone who ignores your boundaries.
Your Mental Health Prescription
Dating isn’t just about finding someone—it’s about growing, learning, and becoming the best version of yourself in the process. Every date is a chance to refine what you want, practice essential relationship skills, and reinforce your boundaries. It’s not about perfection; it’s about figuring out what works for you and who aligns with your values.
So, instead of focusing on just finding “the one,” focus on what you’re learning along the way. When you approach dating with intention, you set yourself up for a healthier, more fulfilling relationship in the future.