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  • Dr. Teresa Edwards, LMFT

The Unseen Anchor: Exploring the Power of Friendship in Marriage

As I mentioned in Date Nights Are A Must, a strong, happy marriage is based on friendship. Friendship in marriage provides a sense of safety, security, and acceptance. It is the foundation that holds couples together when things get tough.

One of the best ways to develop and strengthen a friendship is to talk. This is usually really easy when couples are dating. Yet, so many couples in marriage counseling tell me that they can't think of anything to talk about other than "shop talk". So, I thought I'd provide some suggestions for marriage friendship talks for a date night in the future.

Friendship in Marriage


Friendship is about knowing and being known, being heard and accepted, and feeling supported. A lot of times, this happens through talking. Open-ended questions are one of the best ways to get someone to open up and talk. Basically, an open-ended question is any question that can't be answered with a single word, such as yes, no, good, or bad. Here are some examples of open-ended questions and discussion prompts that can help you reconnect with your partner's world and strengthen a sense of friendship.

  • What is something you are excited about right now?

  • Tell me about something that you are anxious or worried about.

  • What is a current goal that you are working towards?

  • If you could live in any city in the world, which would it be and why?

  • What is something that you've always dreamed of doing?

  • What is one of your favorite memories from childhood?

  • Tell me about the accomplishment you are most proud of.

  • Who are two people you admire most and why?

  • What is your best memory of the last year?

  • What is your idea of the perfect Christmas (birthday, anniversary, or other celebration)?

  • If you could live during any other time period in history, when would it be and why?

  • Tell me 5 things that I can do to make you feel loved.

  • If you could plan the ultimate vacation, what would it look like?

Follow responses with prompts such as, "Tell me more about that," or "Tell me why this is important to you." This will encourage your partner to give you more information, which will make you both feel more connected.

I hope these questions and prompts help to increase your sense of friendship and connection in your marriage, and I hope they inspire you to come up with your own questions to become more familiar with your partner and their world.

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